The Swiss funeral service: what Abdankung means and what guests can expect

If you live in German-speaking Switzerland, the first funeral invitation you receive will probably mention an Abdankung. It is the Swiss word for the funeral or memorial service. Elsewhere in the German-speaking world the word is barely used in this sense. The three national churches in the canton of Bern explain it like this: Abdankung contains the word Dank, thanks for a person's life. In French-speaking Switzerland the same occasion is a cérémonie d'adieu or culte d'adieu.

This guide describes the service from a guest's point of view: where it is held, how it runs, how long it lasts and what it means when it takes place “in the closest family circle”. If you are organising a service yourself, see Planning the service instead.

Service and burial: the difference in brief

The Abdankung is the service; the burial (Beisetzung) is when the coffin or urn is laid in the grave. Both can happen on the same afternoon or on different days. The terms and the cantonal time limits are explained in Funerals in Switzerland.

For guests, the order matters most. It is stated in the death notice or the funeral announcement letter, for example “service in the church, followed by burial”, or the other way round. Skim it and you may end up waiting in the wrong place.

The date and place are not only in the family's notice. Many municipalities (Gemeinden) publish funerals officially: Wetzikon (ZH) in its official gazettes, Aesch (BL) in the funeral notices of regional newspapers and on the municipal notice boards. The family can opt out or limit the details.

Where a funeral service takes place

No rule prescribes the venue. Four settings are common:

• Church — the familiar setting for members of one of the national churches (Landeskirchen). In the Reformed parish of Reiden (LU), the service is free of charge for church members
• Funeral hall or cemetery chapel — usually owned by the municipality and open to everyone. The City of Zurich lets residents use its halls and chapels free of charge; Lausanne's Montoie funeral centre has three chapels seating 12, 120 and 250 and hosts secular services, services of any religion and gatherings without an officiant
• At the graveside — a short ceremony at the burial itself, often in a smaller circle
• Another place — a hall, a garden or somewhere that mattered to the person who died, by arrangement with the owner

Venues vary a great deal in size. At Friedental cemetery in Lucerne, the funeral hall seats around 110. The smaller blessing hall serves mainly as a meeting point before a burial, and rituals there last no more than 20 minutes.

In 2016 the Lucerne city council noted that more and more families choose the funeral hall. Its reasons: practical ones such as “everything in one place”, but also the lack of a tie to any religious community.

How the service runs, and how long it lasts

Every service is different, but the framework in German-speaking Switzerland is similar. This is how guests typically experience it:

• Arrival — come a little early. Services start on time because cemeteries and churches run to fixed slots; in Schwerzenbach (ZH), for example, funerals are usually held at 11:00 and 14:00
• Seating — the front rows are kept for the family. It is a custom, not a rule; if you do not know the family well, sit further back
• The service — music, welcome, a prayer or reading, the life story (Lebenslauf), an address, closing words. A Reformed service in Reiden includes organ music, a reading, a hymn, a look back at the person's life, a sermon, thanks and invitations, the collection, the Lord's Prayer and a blessing
• Collection — there is often a collection basket at the exit. The minister or the notice says what it is for; the family can have a say
• Walk to the grave — if the burial follows, the closest relatives go first and the other guests follow
• Condolences — at the grave, at the exit or later over refreshments. In the Jewish Community of Bern, condolences are offered to the relatives after returning from the grave
• Invitation to the meal — at the end, it is often announced where the funeral meal (Leidmahl) takes place and who is invited

There is no fixed length, but there are limits. According to the information sheet of the City of Zurich's funeral and cemetery office, a service is limited to about 60 minutes. In Wetzikon (ZH), a farewell at the graveside may not last longer than 30 minutes for operational reasons.

Flowers and wreaths usually do not go into the church. In Reiden and Wetzikon they are normally handed in at the cemetery and taken to the grave by cemetery staff; they go into the church only if the family arranges it. If the notice asks for a donation instead of flowers, follow that wish; more in Funeral flowers.

As a guest, allow up to an hour for the service and more if a burial follows. Finding the right words is covered in Offering condolences; what happens at the meal afterwards in The funeral reception.

Reformed, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, non-religious: the differences

The order of events depends on the religious or secular setting. A few differences guests notice:

• Reformed — a service of the word with sermon, life story and hymns. In Reiden the burial comes first, then the service in church; at the following weekend's service, the person's death is announced to the congregation
• Catholic — in Wetzikon, the coffin can stand in the Catholic church during the service if the family wishes; the Reformed church there does not allow this. In the Catholic parishes of Mutschellen (AG), the service follows the burial, and there are no Catholic funerals at weekends or on public holidays
• Jewish — in the Jewish Community of Bern, men sit to the left and women to the right of the central aisle, and men cover their heads at the cemetery. Flowers and instrumental music are not customary
• Muslim and Orthodox — the funeral prayer and the liturgy follow their own rules, often in the mosque or the community's own church. If in doubt, ask someone close to the family what is expected
• Non-religious — a celebrant or the family leads the service without liturgy. Not every church is available for this: the Catholic churches in Mutschellen are not open to independent celebrants, so a funeral hall is the usual alternative. Some municipalities, such as Aesch (BL), can give people without a religious affiliation the contact details of funeral speakers

“In the closest family circle” and “in silence”

If the notice says the Abdankung takes place im engsten Familienkreis, in the closest family circle, it is a clear request: attend only if you have been invited personally. Wetzikon offers exactly this wording for the official notice, both as “takes place” and “has taken place” in the closest family circle.

A stille Bestattung, a quiet funeral, is similar. In that case Aesch (BL) publishes no time. The Reformed parish of Reiden observes that families increasingly ask for a farewell in the closest family circle, and points out that this excludes people outside the family from saying goodbye.

You can still show you care: a card to the address given for condolences, the donation mentioned in the notice, or a visit to the grave later. Some families offer others a personal farewell at a public viewing; see Attending a viewing. If you only hear of the death after the burial, a personal card is the right gesture; nobody expects the service to be made up.

A service after cremation, at a later date

With a cremation, the family has more freedom over timing. The service can take place before the cremation with the coffin, or afterwards with the urn, even weeks later. The cantonal time limits apply to the funeral itself, not to the service.

Local rules still apply. In Wetzikon, urns are normally interred before the Reformed service; burying the urn straight after that service is not possible for operational reasons. In the City of Zurich, according to its information sheet, the urn is usually interred the day after the cremation.

For guests, this means reading the notice carefully. If it says “urn burial in the closest circle, service on …”, you are invited to the service only. A later service has an advantage for guests too: anyone travelling from abroad can plan, and the family has a little more calm after the first days. How an urn burial works is explained in Urn burial.

If you are organising a service yourself

Then other questions come first: minister or celebrant, venue, music, life story. The steps are set out in Planning the service. What we take on is described under Memorial service.