What to wear to a funeral in Switzerland

The question of what to wear usually comes up at short notice. Often only a few days pass between the death notice and the service. There is no dress code by law; in Switzerland the custom is dark, plain clothing unless the family asks for something different.

This guide covers what women, men and children wear, how to read a line such as “colourful clothing welcome”, what helps in heat, cold and at the cemetery, and what to keep in mind in a church, synagogue or mosque. How a Swiss funeral service (in German-speaking Switzerland called an Abdankung) actually runs is explained in The Swiss funeral service.

The basic rule: dark, plain, neat

If the death notice or the announcement letter says nothing about clothing, black is a safe choice. Other dark shades are just as appropriate: navy, charcoal, dark grey, even a deep purple. What matters more than the exact shade is that your clothes look quiet.

At a funeral the person who died is at the centre, not the guests. Neat does not mean expensive: clean, dark everyday clothes are better than a new suit that draws attention.

Many guides consider jeans out of place. If jeans are all you have, choose the darkest, least worn pair and wear them with a shirt, blouse or jacket. Even simple clothing then looks respectful.

• Plain colours or a very discreet pattern
• Little jewellery, kept discreet; light make-up
• No bright colours, no prints or logos
• No leisure wear such as tracksuit bottoms, shorts or flip-flops

Many guests expect the close family to wear more traditional mourning clothes. It is not an obligation. If the family chooses colour, they set the tone and guests follow.

For relatives, practical points count too: they often stand at the grave for a long time, receive condolences and then go on to the funeral reception. Comfortable shoes and a layer you can take off or put on make the day easier. How guests express their sympathy is covered in Offering condolences.

Funeral clothing for women and men

Women usually wear a dark dress, a skirt with a blouse or a trouser suit. Dark tailored trousers with a jumper or blazer are also appropriate. It is customary to have knees and shoulders covered. A white or light blouse under a dark blazer is fine, as are dark or skin-coloured tights.

Men traditionally wear a dark suit with a white or light shirt and a plain dark tie. A black suit is not essential; navy or charcoal are just as common. Without a suit, dark trousers with a shirt and a dark jumper or jacket are perfectly appropriate at many services, especially a small or non-religious one.

If nothing suitable is in your wardrobe at short notice, there is no need to buy anything. Dark trousers, a simple top and a dark jumper together make a calm, appropriate outfit.

• Women, suitable — sheath dress, skirt and blouse, trouser suit, tailored trousers with fine knitwear; for a cool church a blazer, cardigan or dark scarf
• Men, suitable — dark suit or trousers with a jacket, dark leather shoes, dark socks; at a non-religious service the tie can be left off
• Women, avoid — low necklines, very short skirts, spaghetti straps, eye-catching jewellery
• Men, avoid — ripped jeans, brightly coloured trainers, shirts with large prints
• Everyone — take off beanies and caps in church and in the funeral chapel; religious head coverings are the exception

Children and teenagers

Children do not need formal mourning clothes. Neat everyday clothing in muted colours is enough. It is best to avoid very bright colours or cheerful motifs.

What matters most is that the child feels comfortable. A service takes time, and at the cemetery people stand and walk. Soft fabrics, comfortable shoes and a jacket for outdoors help more than a new shirt that itches. Teenagers tend to follow what the adults wear.

Small children get dirty quickly, for example while waiting at the cemetery. A spare pair of trousers or a jumper in the car takes one worry off your mind that day. Let older children help decide what they wear; it gives them a little security.

Whether and how children take part in the service is covered in Children at a funeral.

“Colourful clothing welcome”: reading the family's wishes

More and more death notices in Switzerland include a note on clothing. Some people asked during their lifetime that nobody come in black, and the family passes this wish on. Follow it: it is an invitation to honour the life of the person who died.

Colourful does not mean festive or loud. A coloured blouse, a shirt in the person's favourite colour or a light scarf is enough. The other rules stay the same: neat, covered, no prints.

• “Colourful clothing welcome” — colour is explicitly wanted; coming in all black is possible but misses the point of the wish
• “No mourning clothes” — normal, neat clothing; black is not needed
• A specific colour — for example a favourite colour; one accessory in that colour is enough
• No note at all — dark and plain

If the wording is unclear, ask someone close to the family. It is not an impolite question.

Some families also ask for a particular detail, such as the colours of a favourite sports club or an item of clothing linked to a hobby. Such wishes then appear in the notice. They give the service a personal touch and often make it easier for guests to talk afterwards.

Summer, winter and shoes at the cemetery

Many services end with a burial or an urn interment outdoors. On large cemeteries the paths are long: the Hörnli cemetery in Basel, for example, covers 54 hectares. So plan for the weather and the walk, not just for the chapel.

At an urn burial in a woodland or in a communal grave on a lawn, you often stand on soft ground. Sturdy, dark shoes matter more here than elegant ones. Nobody will hold it against you if you wear solid footwear at the graveside.

• Summer and heat — light, breathable fabrics such as linen or cotton in dark shades; a short-sleeved dress with a light wrap over the shoulders; shorts remain out of place
• Sun — plain sunglasses are fine at the graveside; a bottle of water in your bag helps older guests in particular
• Winter and cold — a dark coat rather than a colourful outdoor jacket; scarf, gloves and hat in muted colours; at the grave you stand still for a long time
• Rain — a dark or neutral umbrella; many funeral chapels have a cloakroom
• Shoes — dark and stable; on gravel and grass narrow heels sink in, flat shoes or a broad, low heel are safer

Religious customs: church, synagogue, mosque

In Reformed and Catholic churches there are no dress rules beyond the basic one. If you attend a ceremony of another faith, you will rarely be told anything about your clothing. It is still respectful to find out briefly in advance, and families usually appreciate the interest.

Some places have their own customs:

• Jewish funeral — men wear a head covering such as a hat or kippah; at the Jewish cemetery in Bern, for example, kippahs for visitors are available at the entrance to the hall. Dark clothing is not required there; people wear ordinary street clothes
• Mosque — the custom is long, loose clothing with shoulders and knees covered; women usually cover their hair; shoes come off before the prayer room, so clean socks are useful
• White as the colour of mourning — in some cultures, Hinduism for example, white is the colour of mourning. If you attend such a ceremony, the simplest thing is to ask the family

If in doubt, ask the family or the community. A scarf or head covering in your bag never hurts.

At a non-religious ceremony only the family's wishes apply. Some families explicitly invite guests in everyday clothes, for example to a farewell in a garden or by a lake.

If you are organising a service yourself

If you have a wish about what guests should wear, put it in the death notice or the funeral announcement letter, ideally in one short sentence. How we plan the service with you is described under Memorial service.